


Learn to Trust Again

by Ihavealotoffeelings



Category: Alias Grace (TV), Historical RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-10-13 16:16:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17491223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihavealotoffeelings/pseuds/Ihavealotoffeelings
Summary: It was 1888. Nellie Bly was 24 and Dr. Jordan 30.She was traumatized by a doctor.He was traumatized by his patient.They both saw the horrors that mentally ill people were subjected to by society, and the horrors those illnesses can do to a person themselvesThey both had questioned who they were, what was real, who they could trustIt had been a few years since her undercover investigation "10 Days in a Madhouse" and the same time since he left Grace Marks for prison.They had to learn to live again. Who to Trust. And how to feel safe with themselves.They had a lot in common





	1. Chapter 1

It was 1888. Nellie Bly was 24 and Dr. Jordan 30.  
She was trauamtized by a doctor.  
He was traumatized by his patient.

  
They both saw the horrors that mentally ill people were subjected to by society, and the horrors those illnesses can do to a person themselves

  
They both had questioned who they were, what was real, who they could trust

  
It had been a few years since her undercover investigation "10 Days in a Madhouse" and the same time since he left Grace Marks for prison.

They had to learn to live again. Who to Trust. And how to feel safe with themselves.  
They had a lot in common

* * *

They met in New York. Nellie, as she penned herself was writing with Mr. Pulitzer for the World, and Dr. Jordan had been called by his family.

They never knew what happened with that girl he sent to prison. But he wasn't the same. 

That was another thing they had in common, being responsible for people in jail. No matter how justified. 

 

* * *

 

 "Liz! Sorry...Nellie!" her brother called from the hall to the newspaper offices  
  
"Harry!" She got out of her desk and they ran to eachother.  
  
"Look at you!" She exclaimed patting his head only as an older sister can.  
"Look at me look at you! Mrs. Around the World in 80 Days" they hugged  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
He explained their mom and siblings got the money enough to visit.  
  
Finishing up at the office nellie got a telegram  
  
"Dear Ms.  Bly, we are a fan of your literary work and travels. In reading your 10 Days in a Madhouse, we thought you may be able to help our son, Dr. Simon Jordan. You see he was assigned to evaluate a girl accused of murdering her bosses. She was very ill in the head and he has never been the same. We do not know what happened but ever since then 4 years ago, he hardly talks to anyone and has refused to see new patients.  
Given your experience with those particular traumas and investigation we were wondering if you might be able to tell us what happened or talk to him.  
We don't know who else to go to.  
Thank you very kindly and we hope you are in good health upon reading.  
Sincerly-the Jordans.  
  
Nellie was surprised to say the least. 

-

* * *

  
After conversing with her co-workers and them suggesting it could lead to a good story, she deciding at least calling the guys parents couldn't hurt.  
"Hello this is Nellie Bly calling from The World is this Mrs. Jordan?"

  
"Oh! Mrs. Bly! It's you thank you thank you" the woman had somewhat of a Slavic accent she noticed.  
"Simon! Simon come here!"

  
She heard some confused arguing and shuffling and eventually s soft and tired voice answered  
"I'm very sorry to trouble you Mrs. Bly it seems my mother has misunderstood your position. Congratulations on the Pulitzer and have a nice afternoon"

  
"Oh. Well I don't think she misunderstood at all..I Would like to talk to you Mr. Jordan"  
After some convincing him they set up a time to meet in central park.  
  
The first thing nellie noticed about Dr. Jordan was he was tall. The first thing he noticed about nellie was her eyes. They were hazel and nothing like Graces. A part of him feared they would. She was nothing like grace. He was relieved.  
They awkwardly sat on a bench as far away as possible.  
  
She stuck out a hand to shake, face trying to be hopeful.  
He smiled slightly and breathed shaking it  
"Hello. I'm Dr. Jordan. It's an honor to meet you, you've done...extraordinary work"  
  
She smiled "thank you. I believe I should say the same for you. I read up on your past work as well. You've helped many ppl in changing how Canada treats mental patients"  
  
She studied how he looked down at this and his hand sinked to his side. He didn't want to say much. She didn't want to pry but was very curious regarding such an odd request for her.  
  
"It's a nice day." She added looking out at the park. "Not that different from Pennslyvania in weather. But the city is quite busy..."  
  
He nodded  
"Did you...grow up in Canada Mr. Jordan?"  
  
For a moment he thought it was almost funny how for the first time he was being treated like a patient.  
  
"No. My family and I moved from Europe when  I was a child."  
It was clear to her he didn't want to say from where specifically. She didn't mind, she understood.  
  
"Well sir I'll be frank. Your family contacted me to try and understand you. They're worried you haven't been the same these past years and hope I can find out why. I need to know if you're willing to work with me"  
  
He stared for awhile  
"Mrs. Bly...I believe they are under the impression you are able to understand me. I know of the ..traumas you faced in the asylum and I express my deepest human condolences, but my past may be nothing like yours"  
  
"Maybe" she admitted  
"Perhaps they're nothing alike. But those traumas may make me 1 of the only ppl who can help you..and honestly...it Would be a relief to confide in someone" she admitted  
  
They talked more  
"So we are to be agreed that this is a psychological relationship for the betterment of both of us" he concluded  
"Exactly. And anything I consider writing I will inform you prior. And I will not write anything you don't want" she promised  
He nodded  
"Thank you. "  
"Ofcourse. Shall we meet the same time next week?"  
They agreed.

* * *

  
  
So she brought her notebook and so did he.  
The first thing he did was brush his hand over it almost scared it would bite him and said  
"This is all of it." It was his notes on grace.  
  
He warily handed it to her and she nodded.  
"I will read it if you wish."  
  
She rummaged through her work bag and found the original notebook from the asylum.   
  
"This is..."  
She handed it to him.  
  
He raised an eyebrow thinking she already published her findings.  
  
"I didn't publish everything...some things are too personal...And they wouldn't have helped anyone anyway"  
  
He gently took it.  
  
The next week they met on the same bench staring into eachother.  
  
She saw a woman burn to death.  
He saw the woman he loved tell him she would enjoy killing him.  
She was forcibly infected with leeches to sterilize her out of punishment for another  man's feelings about her.  
  
Dr jordan had been through a lot but he couldn't begin to imagine those things.  
  
"I had no idea" was all he could say as they returned the others notebook.  
  
She nodded  
"Now do you trust me?" She asked  
  
He nodded  
"As much as any of us can like this"  
  
They sat on that bench for awhile just watching the park goers run around and lollygaggy.  
Human life was so confusing when free.  
  
After another few meetings they were able to talk about the process of manipulation as they gradually sat closer.  
  
"I have to admit it wasn't terribly easy meeting you. You are a doctor of the so called female mind"  
  
"Not in a long time"  
  
"In sorry to say I think that's for the best" she said  
  
He nodded  
 "for both of us" he replied  
  
They become somewhat of friends.  
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

It was a rainy February day. The winter was finally subsiding in New York, as was the tension between the two professionals. 

They had been exchanging stories for a month now, every Sunday on the dot. They looked forward to the others company. 

 

Nellie lifted her skirt above the dirt of her boots as they walked around the park. The wind whisped the hairs crowning both their foreheads, falling cold off their skin 

Yet they were smiling. 

"Exactly!" Nellie agreed 

"Its absurd!" Simon added

 

What they were talking about wasnt important. What mattered was their smiles. How they walked closer to eachother than before and let themselves breathe happily as they walked. 

* * *

It was a chilly March day

Nellie and Simon had began to refer to the other as "friends" if they were so obliged. 

As for Simons parents, Nellie had frequent calls and letters to them detailing his progress. No one expected them to share company this long. 

 

People began to talk. 

Both were use to it. And both were trying to not care what the general public thought of them, much less personal snobs. 

 

Their friendship was growing healthily. Honestly it was one of the few friendships either had this point, at least the kind they could be their selves in. 

 

Nellie was a sassy woman, unbecoming of a proper lady. Simon had a awkward sense of humor his jokes were long and complicated but Nellie stayed long enough to hear the snappy ends. 

 

Simon tapped his foot when he was excited. Nellie twisted her hair behind her ear when waiting. 

Eventually they felt like they were finally getting time back. 

 


End file.
